Home and Away

Wednesday, feb 22, 2006. 6:35pm – Flight to aus.

In about one hour, I’ll be touching down to Brisbane airport. I can’t believe how fast time has flown. A moment ago I was home, catching up with my really good friends, celebrated mom’s 47th birthday with my family. A moment ago, I was at McDonalds laughing away with mom and dad and gossiping about other people. The next moment I realised, I’m on MH 135, flying back to this other life of freedom and opportunities, yet away from people who are dear to me.

I’m really missing home now-Missing my love ones who I had for the last three months.

I’ve been sleeping most hours on the plane as usual. It must have been the act of my motion sickness pill. Certain hours, I’m into deep sleep. Other time I see the people that I just hugged goodbye, the moment I close my eyes. I see mom and dad. I see granny and sis. I see him. I see the kids at home. I see those moments I spent for that past three months. I hear giggles and laughter, and my little piano and I still hear them all. Except that for this time, I only see and hear those moments in flashes of images in my brain. And I see them alone, trying my best to hold the tears down as much as I can.

I would love to write more but I can’t do this at the moment. Because my nose is getting red, my tears can’t stop falling. I shall write again when I’m ready to write. The crew had just announced that we have another 45 minutes to live my other life, away from home.

Thursday, feb 23 2006. Brisbane 12.59am

I was supposed to be unpacking and spring cleaning my room after it was unattended for several months. Instead I came back, caught up with Mil while Wei Ling was away and had yummy lasagne that Wei Ling kept for me, knowing that I was coming back. It was such a sweet thought. Mil cooked this Philippino dish that I’ll have it tomorrow for lunch perhaps. It's really good to see my very much missed hyenas.

Now as I sat down on my bed, I stared at my room blankly. I still can’t believe this. I can’t believe that I’m back in this place with different time zone. I can’t make phone calls because there is no phone card. I can’t send texts because my phone is barred. I can’t use the internet because of this complicated setups that I have to wait for the office to open tomorrow. Does this say something about my life right now? Empty. So here I am. I am back in Brisbane.

I love Brisbane, really. And I love it here. I love the fact that I’m not restricted with my thoughts and actions. I’m not restricted to be the person that I am and the person that I can be. I’m not restricted in anything I want to do, as long as is within my values and beliefs. Here, I can fight for life and the life I want to live.

Yet, where are they? Where are they to share my sweet and bitter?

What are they doing right now I wonder. For one thing, I’m sure I’m missing the fun and being in this thing called the togetherness.
I will close my eyes for awhile. When the sun comes out tomorrow, my life will be racing once more. To where, I don’t know. For how long, I’ve no clue. All I know is, there is a life to be lived and it mustn’t go for waste. Am I ready for this? I don’t know. All I know is, I have to keep running even not knowing where the finishing line is.